My name is Pan
by letgo
Summary: The angsty sequel to In Memory Of... AU Pan is an orphan after an earthquake destroys her home of Sea City. Can she get by, not knowing who she is or who her family is?


My name is Pan

This is the re-revised version of My name is Pan. I do not own anything unless you read it in the original version. It is the sequel to In Memory Of... and is an AU.

I'm all alone in this world. I never knew my grandparents, never seen them, never met them, never nothing them. My momma and papa are dead. It was that stupid earthquakes fault. I was at school when it hit. They died. Now I'm alone. I thought you were supposed to grow up happy, not have both your parents' die when you're still in school. But life's never fair as I have learned.

So now, I'm just trying to get by. They died four years ago, when I was twelve. I work at a place called Capsule Corp. I'm an intern there. I attend Satan City High. It used to be called Orange Star High, but some odd years ago, they changed it to Satan City High after the city. I'm top of my class. I have one friend, Bulla Briefs. She's my bosses' daughter and sister. They're really nice, the Briefs family that is. They let me live with them, and in return I work for them.

I was just wandering around, tired and hungry when I passed out on their front lawn. They gave me this bean; I felt so rejuvenated afterwards. Mrs. Briefs was nice enough to let me stay with them, and I did. They think of me as a second daughter and sister. It feels good to call a place my home, but still, I want to find my family. It would be nice to find the people who knew my parents when they were growing up. I want to know about th-.

Sorry, but Vegeta just walked by. He scares me, what with his constant training. Now walks Mrs. Briefs, she's angry with Vegeta. They all insist that I call them by their first names, but Bulla's the only one I call by her first name with ease. I don't know what to call Vegeta, so I call him Vegeta. Mrs. Briefs and Mr. Trunks Briefs, they're my bosses and I feel like I have to call them that, so as I don't seem disrespectful.

"Why do we have to go to Kakarrot and the harpy's house?" Vegeta whines.

"Chichi's name isn't that harpy! And yes, we have to go there because Goten's birthday party's going to be there. He's my godchild, the youngest son of some of my best friends and he's also Trunks's best friend. We're going, end of story," Mrs. Briefs yells at her husband. They're talking about the Sons'. I don't really know them that well, other than Goten who's always over here.

My name you ask? Pan, no last name, no middle, its just Pan. I might have had a last name at one time, but I don't remember it now. I don't remember much after that earthquake when I hit my head and lost most of my memories. I don't even remember my parents' names.

"Hey Pan," Bulla says to me.

"Hey Bulla," I answer.

"What's wrong?" My friend asks.

"Nothing," I answer. I don't want to tell her that my parents died four years ago today.

"And today is the four-year anniversary of the terrible earthquake in Sea City," A guy on the news says. "It was reported that 263 were left dead or injured. What are your feelings on the tragedy, Jet?" He asked the guy next to him.

"Oh, it was awful. I wonder how many children were left orphans. I lost my cousin in that earth quake-" Mr. Briefs turns off the TV. He always does whenever the news people take about the earthquake.

"What?" Vegeta snaps after getting annoyed by Bulla's staring at him.

"Dad, can you take Pan and me to the mall?" She asks. I try to say I don't want to go, but Bulla drags me to her father's Jeep.

"I'll pick you up in two hours," he tells us when we get there. "Be here or you're walking home," he warns us.

"Okay, you have to help me pick out something to wear to Goten's party," she says to me as soon as her father's gone. Bulla can be incredibly strong when she wants, I think, as she drags me from store to store. Finally, after two hours of nothing but clothes, we stand waiting outside for Vegeta. Instead of Vegeta's Jeep, it's Mr. Briefs in his hover car that picks us up.

"Sheesh, think you got enough clothes there?" Goten jokes from the front seat. My friend gives a little eep, then rushes to sit in the backseat with me. "Oh, hey Pan," Goten tells to me.

"Hello, Goten, Mr. Briefs," I say my hellos. Mr. Briefs winces.

"Don't call me Mr. Briefs, it makes me feel old," he complains.

"But-" I start to say. I notice that there's someone else sitting in the car.

"Hi, my name's Marron," she introduces herself to me.

"I'm Pan," I tell her.

"Pan, that's a cool name, although I don't think they'll agree," she giggles, pointing to the guys.

"Why not?" I ask.

"His mom's got a frying pan that she hits him on the head with," Marron explains, pointing to Goten. We go the rest of the ride in silence.

A week later, the day of Goten's party. We take a hover car to go to the Sons'. It's a little cramped what with five of us. Mrs. Briefs is driving, which is always interesting. At the Son's, there are tons of people. Bulla and Marron introduce me to everyone.

I get thirsty, so I head inside. Then for some reason, I start to walk around. I walk into what I guess is the living room. On the walls are tons of pictures. They show all sorts of people, most of which are outside, laughing and joking. But there are two boys that show up countless times. One I guess is Goten, but the other, I don't know. He seems so familiar. I walk along the wall, looking at pictures. Then I see a picture of my father. He's laughing with an assortment of people, of which are outside. I stare at him, it's a picture of when he's has to be in high school. Then I notice others of him, all when he has to be in high school. Then I see one I recognize from when I was a child growing up in Sea City. I remember their names now, Videl, my mom, and Gohan, my dad. It's his school picture from his senior year.

"That's my brother, Gohan," I hear Goten's voice say.

"Go-Go-Gohan," I stutter.

"Yep, he disappeared with his girlfriend Videl little over seventeen years ago," he goes on to say. "We haven't seen him since."

I grab the picture and run. Run far, far away, fast as my legs can travel. Goten yells something, but I'm not listening anymore. I put all my energy into getting as far away as I can. Finally, I find a cave. I collapse on the ground.

"Hey, why'd you run away?" Goten asks.

"You don't understand. You can't!" I yell at him. I hadn't noticed him following, but he and Mr. Briefs and Vegeta seem to do that kind of thing a lot.

"Try me," he says.

"No, you could never understand my pain!" I yell. "Leave me alone!" I'm running again.

"No, not until you tell my why you ran away with my brother's picture. It belongs to us, not you, so give it back," Goten demands. He's blocking the way out.

"It's as much yours as it is mine!" I yell at him.

"What claim do you have! He's my brother! I doubt you've even met him!" Goten yells back.

"Oh, I've met him. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't even be alive," I answer Goten coolly.

"Do you know where he is?" The guy asks.

"Yes, I do," I tell him.

"Where is he?" Goten yells at me.

"My parents died four years ago in the earthquake," I answer.

"I don't want to hear about your par-" he stops. "Was my brother your father?" He asks.

"Yeah, I guess so," I answer.

"Do you miss them? Your parents, I mean," he asks.

"Do you miss my father?" I ask. We sit in silence for a long while. "I just miss them so much," I tell him. "Why did they have to die?"

"It's okay; I know a way that could bring them back," Goten whispers, giving me a hug. There's a gasp. Turning around, I see its Bulla. She runs away.

"Bulla! Wait!" I'm running after her now. She's crying, I see that as I catch up to her.

"You slut! You know I love Goten!" She slaps my face, then runs off as I stand there in shock.

"Pan, are you okay?" Goten asks.

"Yeah, it's just that Bulla," I can't finish.

"Don't worry, I'll go get her, and tell her everything" he says running off after her. "You just go back to the party!"

Sighing, feeling so bad about my friend, sad about my parents, and sort of glad about finding my father's family. I head back to the party. Everyone's just now getting ready to leave. I'm shocked to find that I was gone for two hours. It felt so much longer, yet shorter than that. I notice I've still got my father's picture with me.

"Pan, have you seen Bulla anywhere?" Mr. Trunks asks. We'd agreed on me calling him that, saying that I'd be calling him by his first name, only adding a respectful Mr. in front of the name.

"Goten's out looking for her," I answer, trying not to let my true emotions betray me.

"Okay," he says, raising an eyebrow. "What's the matter with you?" He asks. I don't answer. Instead, I walk into the Sons' house. I'm wandering around; stopping at a door that says Gohan. I open it, finding all sorts of stuff. I'm so tired, I curl asleep on the bed.

Hours later, someone's shaking me awake. It's Marron.

"Where's Bulla?" I ask.

"We can't find her," I'm told. "They've been searching for hours, but it's like she's disappeared from the face of the earth," Marron says, eyes watering.

"It's my fault; it's my fault. It's always my fault," I break down. "Momma, papa, and now Bulla," I'm crying now. There are some crashing noises from somewhere in the house.

"Marron, can I speak with you for a minute?" Goten's voice yells. She gives me one last look, promising to be back soon, then goes off to see Goten. Mrs. Briefs comes into the room.

"It's been years since I've been in here. Chi and Goku kept it the same; nothing's changed at all. Pan, do you know where Bulla is?" She asks.

"No, no I don't," I tell her.

"Why don't you at least get something to eat," she says, pulling me downstairs. The kitchen is a mess. There are people all over the living room and kitchen. Goten's talking to Mr. Trunks and Marron. Vegeta, Mr. Tien, and Mr. Choatzu are all missing; I guess out looking for Bulla. Mrs. Son hands me something. I don't notice what it is other than food. I don't have an appetite; I eat it, but only because Mrs. Briefs is watching me.

"I hope you don't mind my sleeping in the room upstairs," I say to the Sons'.

"It's okay; we're all exhausted, some more than others," Mrs. Son says, shooting a look at Goten.

"Yes, Chi, I notice that Gohan's room hasn't changed a bit," Mrs. Briefs says. "How come?"

"I don't know why. I guess it's like that because if he ever comes home, I want him to know that we didn't forget about him," Mrs. Son answers. I'm fighting back tears. Here they are, ignorant of the pain they have caused by talking of my father as though I'm not there. Goten gives me a worried look.

"Pan, why don't you come over here," he says to me. I walk over to them. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"As okay as I'm going to be for a while," I tell him.

"True, but you do know we're your friends. You can tell us anything," Goten replies. Mr. Trunks and Marron give us strange looks.

"What are you two talking about?" Mr. Trunks asks.

"Do you want me to tell them?" Goten suggests.

"No, I can do it," I answer, trying to be strong.

"What? Do what?" Marron and Mr. Trunks ask together.

"You guys remember the earthquake four years ago?" I ask, both nodding yes. "My parents were killed in it," I tell them. Mr. Trunks goes pale.

"You were an orphan at 12. How sad!" Marron says.

"I was searching for my family at first, but I gave up after a year. I'd never met any of them. I didn't know what anyone looked like. The only pictures we had at my home were of my mom and dad and me. I don't know if I even have a last name, so why should it matter, I thought to myself back then," I go on. My voice is growing louder, more people are listening, but I don't care anymore. Maybe its time I get this burden off my shoulders; let the world hear what I have to say.

"So, I gave up searching. So, I kept wandering around, no goal in my life," I say to everyone in the room, which would be everyone in the house. They'd all migrated into the room to hear me talk. "I don't know how I ended up on Capsule Corp.'s front lawn, I just did," I go on. I don't want to say anymore, so I end up shooting a look to Goten.

"You want me to take ever?" He asks. I nod yes; yes I do, because I can't say anymore without choking up. "So, last night, Pan wandered in here. She was looking at the pictures of all of us when she saw Gohan's high school picture," he told everyone.

"Oh, yeah, you probably want this back," I say, handing him the picture I took.

"Keep it, you should have it. You're entitled to it as much as we are, if not more," Goten says. Mrs. Son starts to say something, but she's quickly hushed. They want to hear what Goten's going to say. "It had to be something I said, because she ran off with that picture. I was pretty curious, but also mad. She'd taken off with something that wasn't her's. It was ours. So I followed her. We yelled things at each other and somehow I found out who her parents are. And you won't believe who they are," Goten says to them, a gleam in his eye.

"Well, Pan who are your parents?" Mrs. Son asks.

"Wait a minute, I'll tell you. Her dad's Gohan and I'm guessing your mom's Videl, right?" He asks. I nod yes. Everyone seems shocked. Mrs. Son rushes over to hug me. She's saying something about grandchildren.

"Poor girl," some one whispers.

"And this has to do with Bulla how?" Mrs. Briefs asks.

"She saw me comforting Pan," Goten explains.

"Oh, well now we know why she's disappeared," Miss Launch says.

A week goes by and Bulla's still missing. Everyone insisted I move in with the Sons', them being my family. I now stay in my father's old room. But, still, I long for things to be as they were before everyone, me included, knew about my past and me. Goten, Mr. Trunks, Vegeta, and Mr. Son, I still call them that, my grandparents I mean, I've only ever known them as Mr. and Mrs. Son, they've been gone constantly. At least three of the people have been gone 24 hours a day. The Son's house is the base, and there's lots of room thanks to one of Mr. Trunks's inventions. I'm worried about Bulla. I'm worried about me. I'm not sure I can handle everyone watching over me much longer.

I never could handle pressure well.

I couldn't handle it. I'm now on my own once more, this time better prepared. I've set out on a goal. I will find Bulla.

"That'll be twenty zeni, miss," a person says to me as I buy something drink. I'm in a club. Apparently I pass on looking like I'm 18 and over. I hand him the money, sitting back, taking sips from my drink. I'm waiting for something, but what, I do not know. Sometimes, you have to wait and see what life delivers.

It's been over a year since I left the Sons' and Briefs' and took up the wandering life for a second time. I've stopped searching for Bulla; they'd found her a month after I left. I'm living in a small town, called Rock Harbor. The sea called to me after a half year. Its called Rock Harbor for it's on a harbor, that's known for its deadly rocks just beyond the mouth of the harbor.

My job is waiting tables at a diner. It's hard work, but there are worse things I could be doing. My boss is a man by the name of Joe Layman. He's nice, just like the Briefs' and Sons' were which makes me nervous. I've promised myself never to mention the past again; it hurts too much. Just then, four people walk in, two guys, two girls. It's obvious they're friends, really close ones at that. I'm walking over to them when my heart stops. It's Bulla, Marron, Mr. Trunks, and Goten. I hope they don't recognize me. I've changed a lot. My hair is shorter, my height is taller, and my eyes the same blue but my hair is streaked red. I don't want to and can't go back to that time in my life, not now, not ever again.

"What can I get you today?" I ask hoping they don't see past the disguise.

"Three steaks, two large drinks, and a giant plate of hash browns," Goten orders. "What do you guys want?" He asks the others, they laugh and I wish I could join in that laughter. It would be nice to have a family. But I can't. It would only lead to pain, and I've already had too much of that in this lifetime.

"Same," Mr. Trunks orders. Marron takes a salad, as does Bulla, ordering two for her.

"I'll be back with your orders in a few minutes," I say as I walk over to the kitchen. It's soon very busy in there. After about ten minutes, the foods done and I take it over to the group of people I once knew.

"So, Bulla, how's the rehab doing?" Goten asks as I walk over. It had turned out that at the time Bulla disappeared, she'd been doing drugs pretty badly. I was shocked, and I can imagine that everyone else was too.

"Okay, they say I'm almost all better now," she says. I hand them their food. A round of thanks is said as they dig in.

"Lya, you ready?" Krisa, a fellow worker says, calling to her younger sister.

"Yeah, I'm coming," the younger sibling says to the older.

"Pan you all right about closing by yourself?" I'm asked.

"Sure, I've got nothing else to do," I quickly tell them. They leave, and so I'm the only waitress left, just as Denny is the only cook left. The table of four stare at me like I'm a ghost.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I ask, feigning innocence.

"No, it's just that I've got a niece named Pan who'd be about 17 or so by now. In fact, we've been looking for her for months," Goten says.

"That's interesting," I reply. They leave after a bit, and later, at closing time, so do I. I'm walking to my home, an apartment looking over the harbor. The sight is really nice, but I've got other things on my mind. Someone's following me.

"Come out, I know your following me," I say, turning around. It's them. "What do you want?" I yell. "I'm a different person now! Leave me alone! The Pan you're looking for died! She died over a year ago! Stop looking for her!" I yell to the ghosts of my past.

"Pan, stop acting like a fool," I'm told by them. I'm running again. My stuff is what I have with me. Three days later, I find another town, Jutted Bay. I just need a place to rest. I walk into a diner, the radio is on.

"_You and me, we used to be together, everyday together, always. I really feel as though I'm losing my best friend. I can't believe this could be, the end." _The voice sings. I feel comfort in those words for a reason yet to be known.

__

"It looks as though you're letting go. And if it's real, well I don't want to know.'

"Don't speak, I know what you're saying. So please stop explaining, don't tell me 'cause it hurts. Don't speak, I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me 'cause it hurts."

I'm faint and collapse.

Someone's shaking me awake, calling my name. But, how can that be, I never introduced myself to a soul. It's Marron, I realize as I recognize the voice. I open my eyes; I'm in a hospital. Bulla, Goten, and Mr. Trunks are all here. They're sitting around, doing nothing. Why won't they leave me alone?

"Can I speak to Pan, alone?" Bulla asks. The others oblige by leaving the room.

"Is it my fault you left?" She asks. I don't say a word, if I did, the pain would come back. "Fine if you won't talk, I will," she decides. "I'm sorry I called you those awful things. Can you ever forgive me?" Bulla asks. I still have yet to say a word. "I was acting like an idiot. I didn't even stop to think of why you guys could have been together. I had long stop thinking when you caught up with me," Bulla goes on to say.

"Fine, but remember this, if you're going to act like a brat, then I really don't care. I just thought you would want to come home. I thought you'd want to be my friend again," she whispers softly, leaving the room. The other three come in, one at a time, but I'm not listening anymore. She wants me to come home, but where is my home? The destroyed Sea City where I grew up and learned what pain's real meaning was? Or Capsule Corp. where I found happiness? Or was it with the Sons', my biological family who had cared for me? Could my home have been Rock Harbor where I was constantly watching my back, afraid that my ghosts would find me? Or is it that I haven't found my home yet?

When it's time to go, I run. I want to move faster, longer, better than I ever was before. Places move by faster than a blink of an eye. Snatches of that song play in my head, flying to swift for me to catch them, but the one line stays through it all. Suddenly, I'm still.

I'm sitting on a rock, crying. Paying back the pain I should have rid over a year ago. The pain of the past five years. '_Don't speak 'cuz I know what you're thinking. Oh, I know what you're thinking,' It's_ playing over and over in my head. I don't know exactly who I am yet, but I do know one thing, I realize as I sit on this rock, crying over five years of grief. I am who I am. My name is Pan.

Not much this time. Juts very few tweaks here and there and none on IMO. It is now a trio. The order is In Memory Of, My Name is Pan, and Prelude to Sorrow. I guess it could be read also as In Memory Of, Prelude to Sorrow, then My Name is Pan, but they were written in the first order and that's the way I revise them. They could be read as one shots, or as a miniseries. If you've read the series you'll know that I'm thinking of writing a fourth one that picks up after the end of this one.


End file.
